Natural
by Carixna
Summary: "I want it to stop." Her voice was shaky with the admittance and she opened her eyes slowly. It was as she feared. Her reflection in the polished metal was a girl she did not recognize.


Work Text:

 _ **Will you hold the line?  
When every one of them is giving up or giving in, tell me in this house of mine?**_

"Why do I get the feeling that you are not having as much fun as I am?" Raina said, although her voice was raspy and pained. Everything about her was pained. Everything hurt. The bands that closed around her wrists and ankles cut into her skin and the metal back of the table had lost its cooling pressure to the warmth stickiness of drying blood beneath her. It was on an angle now, to allow the blood to flow off but it still stuck to her back, to the wounds attempting to heal there.

Her power seemed weaker now, an echo. As if something had been torn from her, while she watched those she loved die on Scariff.

Darth Vader was seeing to her torture personally and his steady mechanical breathing was a rhythm to focus on, "You try my patience."

She was biding her time.

The machine in the room didn't power back on though, and Raina braced herself as she felt the spears attempting to break into her mind. It was an effective form of destruction, to be sure. To get into another's mind, find all that it holds, and then turn it inside out. She'd done it before. Multiple times and on huge scales, like when she stole Calla away from her execution.

Calla. That pain hurt more. It cut deeper than anything the torture drone brought at her, and it felt worse than any of Vader's attacks. With her padawans it felt like pieces of her heart and power were cut out.

Calla's last words were in neon lights in her mind, mocking her as she was strapped on to the tilted table and for the first time felt true fear, and truly alone.

She tucked the name away with the other three.

Later. When she was normal again. When she had strength again. Then she would mourn.

This was not a place for fear.

As far as she was concerned, no Jedi or Sith alike matched her for mind snatching or peering. They never would. It came second nature to her almost, and her master was quick to teach her how to hold it and contain it. Wielding it though, she learned that all on her own.

As much as her could attempt to cut through her fortress, she threw back everything he gave her in kind. Trying to embolize as much chagrin in it as possible. It was like a migraine, but on larger proportions. It was tiring and made her whole attitude shift to poorly veiled frustration and bitterness.

Finally, he stopped and began to pace.

He did this sometimes although to give her a break or to give himself one, she wondered.

Then he began to talk, as he sometimes did, "Lord Sidious would like me to kill you."

That was not something he normally said.

Back when this had started, however many days, weeks, months, it had been, she felt fear. It licked at her and tested her. She'd never been afraid before. Being a Jedi was a great card to keep in your back pocket, and it kept her from ever really being in danger while surrounded by normal people. But here? Here they had people who knew how to break Jedi. Who remembered. THAT was terrifying.

"I'd say a wise quote about bending but never breaking if I could think of one."

There was a beat lost, and then two given quickly, in the mechanical breathing that Raina had come to believe was Vader's laugh. It was mirthless but present.

"All around you it buzzes," Vader began, looking at her, at least facing her, "You can claim to be light, but I see it. The darkness. It's been there forever. It's in your heart and it will destroy you like a weed if you do not claim it."

Raina felt her bones grinding. Her whole body revolting against her and every nerve misfiring. His hand clenching into a fist and everything in her felt like it was being compressed. Pain shot up her arms, her legs, like a sharp knife tearing the skin and tendons. She knew this trick, seen it before, and she clenched her teeth to keep from screaming. It felt like she would be cut into ribbons, with nothing but the bones holding her together.

It hurt, but she waited. Eventually it stopped, and her body sagged in relief. Bide your time, she repeated.

"Who says," She breathed heavily, "I haven't."

When she lifted her head, her copper hair matted with sweat and blood creating waves on either side of her face, her smirk was unhinged. Enough that even Vader might have smiled.

 _ **Nothing ever comes without a consequence or cost,  
tell me will the stars align?**_

She was brought before Lord Sidious. The manacles were removed by Vader which Raina found to be foolish. Then again, as she rubbed her raw and bleeding wrists and tried to ignore the constant burn of her ankles, maybe it wasn't. Her lungs burned, her throat ached. Her stomach had stopped growling and gotten used to being fed once every two days. Her muscles once toned had fallen to atrophy at the starvation and seclusion.

Last night she had been un-hooked from the table and led to a room that was stark white like a prison cell but larger. A standard cell bed sat against one wall with clothes on it. Raina had looked down at her simple torn pants and vest and immediately felt the urge to cry. She was covered in her own blood.

As if reading her mind, but he certainly wasn't she was sure, Vader pointed to a door in the room, "Shower is in there. Be quick."

She practically raced, grabbing the clothes from the bed and locking the bathroom door behind her.

She did almost cried under the water then. The feeling of soap. Of washing away all the blood that she had been sitting in. Imagining it was Calla's, or Willow's, or Jem's. Her fear melted away with the blood and the sweat and as the water turned from hot to cold Raina tried to be numb to it. She focused her mind far away and felt the tension in her relax.

She was Raina Ca'veth Kenobi. She was not afraid. She was not alone. She had a cause. She had belief. And she would not fear death.

Death should fear her. It was her after all who had fought it, and somehow sent it running. That was the reason Vader took a shining to her. That was the reason she was still alive.

She was torn. She didn't want to die but get in a ship and fly far away from all of this. This mess she created.

No. She didn't create it.

Now her head was high, her back straight despite her soreness and wounds. She had mended what she could, stitched the deepest in the bathroom with the med kit laid out for her. Her clothes left the two inches above her hips visible and there were slashes that were still healing that ran all the way to her sternum in parallel lines. They were made to scare her. All of it was to scare her.

When the elevator opened to a grand throne room with wide and high windows into space, the dark metal shone. She didn't look down out of fear of her reflection in it.

Vader walked a step ahead but next to her as she held her wrists together in front, a picture of demure wonder. Her steps were not graceful or silent as they usually were, she limped pronounceably. The throne they were walking towards held a man that she would gladly subject to the same treatment she was had. She'd skin him slowly and-

She breathed deeply, exhaling the thought. Clear mind. No fear.

The man with his wrinkly skin and sinking face met her eye and smiled, a disgusting thing that loomed and sneered at the same time, "Master Kenobi." He even stood and bowed to her.

She stopped when Vader did and bowed slightly, "Lord Sidious. I expected you to be shorter." Her smile and tone came naturally and Lord Sidious only smiled again.

"I've heard much about that silver tongue of yours. I looked forward to getting to know it better."

Her smile dropped for a look of concern, "Let's hope not too well. There are some traders on Omu that will warn you of how sharp it can be."

She heard the tell-tale of Vader's laugh even as Sidious's smiled went dark. His eyes narrowing at her while her attitude change from demure to brilliant. Her smile sharpened, her eyes glinted, "I see." He said it cryptically and she continued to meet his eye, "Yes, there is a darkness in you."

It was then that she noticed a camera droid and thought back to the rooftop. To Mardus. Her expression softened.

Her shields lowered for a heartbeat as she looked at that floating ball of metal with a mirroring lens.

Then Sidious spoke again, "Ah, yes, I thought it might be nice for the galaxy to see how far their savior has fallen." She hadn't seen it when she was led out of her torture chamber and into the cell but she assumed it was there.

"I am quite on my feet, I assure you."

Sidious approached her, and as he closed in Raina stomped down on the want to step back, to recede. He came within inches and she could smell the death on his breath, "But are you the same person? The darkness within you flourishes with every day here."

She continued to meet his eye but said nothing.

"How does it feel, to be so entirely alone. Your team died without you. Darth Vader made sure of it. You can imagine my disappointment that you could not be with them."

"As you can imagine mine."

His head tilted at her statement and he retreated to his throne once more, "Darth Vader," he said, "She seems quite willing to talk now? How is it no answers have been received?" Admonishment colored his tone.

"All she does is talk, Master." Raina laughed outrightly at that, "Just not anything useful."

"I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," Raina mumbled under her breath, but she knew Vader heard it by the annoyance that rippled from him next.

Sidious seemed to appraise the two of them for a moment before nodding, "You were impressive at Coruscant. The dispatching of Mardus Taris was a minor blow, but significant in its symbolism." The words were meant to cut but Raina had already seen their truth in the camera's lens.

She shrugged and tossed her braided hair onto her shoulder, "As I recall, your apprentice meant to kill me. Mardus was a casualty of circumstance." Her words held no passion and she was proud of it.

"Did it scar?"

The words sent her walking. A slow deliberate pace towards the nearest window, "Some men claim that the greatest threat to sanity was looking out into the edge of space, the very brink, and seeing… nothing. That it broke them as space bent around them and they were tortured by their own insignificance." Although the stormtroopers tensed as she approached the glass none moved to stop her, "When do we get to that?"

Vader quipped back without hesitation, "It would take more than black nothingness to make you feel insignificant. Your pride is a revolting truth of the old Jedi order. It hangs off you, and it will die with you."

A bitter hollow laugh rang through the wide and large room, viewers watching across the galaxy cringed. When she turned from the glass back to her captors, her eyes betrayed her torture, "On the contrary, I would give anything to feel insignificant," She looked to Sidious, "To be a minor blow. Significant only in symbolism."

She regretted the words as soon as she said them. They were too real.

Fortunately, it played to Sidious's own anger. He seemed to be perpetually angry but now it pulsed at her words and she heard it in his voice, "You ARE insignificant!" She did not fight the pull on her body as he pulled it forward to be standing in front of him again, "You are nothing and no one. You are the last of an extinct race. A walking dead fossil."

Raina wanted that. To be nothing. To go and be no one. A wanderer.

She was tired. And this was not her war but her father's.

Sidious seemed to catch the longing in her eyes, "I'll give you one chance to walk out of here." As soon as he said the words, her mind flickered awake. Not the survivalist wry part that she'd relied on till now, but the deeper part. The part that created storms and calmed seas. The part that broke minds and played with politics.

People needed her.

"The conditions?"

Sidious smiled at her eagerness, "I will let you walk out, find some desolate planet to live and die on. Stay away from the dying war and its deadly force. Be no one."

"In exchange for?"

A side door to the throne room opened and on the walkway appeared four stormtroopers escorting a nonplussed princess Leia of Alderaan. Her hair was still immaculate, and her white gown untouched. Her expression changed when she saw Raina to something akin to horror.

"Raina I –"

Raina reached out with a silent amount of power, unnoticeable and told the Princess to not say anything. She was led to Raina's side and it was only when Raina felt the cool press of metal in her other hand did she get the idea.

Vader was pressing a lightsaber into her hand, Sidious watched expectantly, and Leia's horror remained unchanged.

"In exchange for an execution." It wasn't a question but a realization.

"None of this was your fault Raina," Sidious's voice took on a sincere quality, "But you have paid _dearly_ for it. Your ancestors left you with quite the mess." Raina's grasp on the lightsaber tightened.

She'd considered those implications often. She wouldn't have lost Calla or Willow or Jem. Or Mardus. She might have had a family. People who loved her. She might have had something other than the pain to get her through the torture of the past weeks. She might have been different.

Tears threatened her vision as that same pain seemed to throb with her thoughts. She lowered her head to the cool polished metal floor and squeezed her eyes shut tight.

 _ **Will heaven step in? Will it save us from our sin? Will it?  
'Cause this house of mine stands strong**_

"I want it to stop." Her voice was shaky with the admittance and she opened her eyes slowly.

It was as she feared. Her reflection in the polished metal was a girl she did not recognize.

Sidious cooed from the throne, "I knoooooww. It would take only a single life. You've already taken so many, what is one more?" The blood on the table. The blood she's waded in. The blood she's practically demanded of those who serve her.

She powered on the lightsaber, it's blue light blasting away the reflection she despised. She turned then to Leia who had been forced to her knees. The princess's eyes pled with her.

She wanted to run. To be insignificant. To grieve alone. She wanted a second chance.

She looked to Sidious who was already grinning with the victory. She wanted to skin him alive and see him hanged. She wanted to see the same fear she had felt reflected in his eyes.

And Vader. Although he had no gaze to meet, she felt it nonetheless. She wanted him to be left alone and utterly helpless on some far-off planet. She wanted him to lose what little sanity he had left and be forced to adapt to survive without the power he was accustomed to. She wanted him to lose whatever few things he loved. To be reminded of the black pit that was his heart, and let it eat him alive.

She wanted _soooo_ much.

That silver light's whir was the only thing that grounded her. She had one person, on some desolate planet that was already relying on her. That trusted her to do as he taught. To visit occasionally. He had been her family. The republic's army were her friends before fear took root in their eyes at her power.

There is no emotion, only peace. She looked to Leia and tilted her head, testing her power.

She would never be normal. This power, although never asked for, was hers alone.

There were guards everywhere. Her odds sucked. She was battered, beaten, and bruised.

The lightsaber powered off and she shook her head slowly, "I guess I don't want it that badly."

Raina didn't have time to react. The blue lightning that was Lord Sidious's power crackled and blasted through her. Her body flew backward and slammed into a wall with a sickening crack. Even as she thumped to the floor, dangerously still, the lightning bounced around her form.

"Then you are weak to not take what you want!"

Then one arm moved to push her up, the other being held gingerly as it hit the wall hardest. In painstakingly slow movements, she dragged herself to standing. The wall her only anchor to keep from falling. _Or very strong_ , she thought to herself as her whole body rocked with unsteadiness. Nausea threatened and every muscle seemed to creak with movement. The noise of the room was only a dim ring.

Sidious was throwing out insults or commands and Leia was being dragged away, but Raina could only focus on the tunneling vision ahead of her. She reached for her tethers, those in the room to steady herself. Tethers to Vader, Leia, Sidious, all of them, and she pulled.

Just a little but it was enough because her balance straightened, and she felt the nausea fade. The force came to her aid, as it always seemed to. It painted the world in colors for her. All the souls and the emotions. She saw Leia's light disappear back to the general prison and she felt her lightsaber below the runway where she must have dropped it when attacked.

Keep seeing, she pushed herself even as her vision closed and her balance swayed.

From the walkway path down was a good 30ft jump and she knew so little of the ship that even if she managed the jump as weak as she was, could she get to a door? Then a hangar? Then a plane?

But she was already moving, already thinking. The jump off the walkway was simple, she even landed with something that was akin to grace, although too loud to be stealthy. This time when Sidious reached out to grab her, she fought his hold and ran for the nearest door. Her lightsaber flew to her hand from behind her.

She was not fast. She felt the swelling and bruises forming on her skin. Every step was a challenge.

The door opened at the motion and she heard the room behind hustle into movement. Alarms went up and she ducked through hallways running at what she felt was her top speed. She threw everything she had into seeing, avoiding people, knowing the hallways before she came to them. Even as her own vision blurred, the force did not lead her wrong. It didn't take long to find a small computer mainframe closet. Raina slipped in.

Forcing herself behind the wires and then behind the massive mainframe board, she felt adequately hidden. She hurriedly covered all hint of her force signature before letting out a deep sigh. Then, and only then, did she close her eyes, and rest.

 _ **That's the price you pay  
Leave behind your heartache, cast away**_

On a ship headed for Aderlaan, a pilot smirked at the display and huffed back to the cockpit, "Told you she could take care of herself."

"We are going for the princess." The younger boy mumbled in response glaring at the screen. The girl familiar on it. An old master sat next to him looking particularly amused, "Is she related to you?"

The elder nodded, "My daughter, though quite estranged."

Luke's eyes widened, "She asked about you! That's where I know her from. She was on Tatooine once. I didn't know they were rebel soldiers." He was silent still watching the screen and the interaction, "Were the Jedi as scary as she is?"

Ben Kenobi looked mildly concerned as he said, "The Jedi were all very structured before their extermination. Whatever Raina is, she is not a Jedi."

"She stole someone's life. I saw it! It was like she sucked it from them." Luke said.

Ben Kenobi nodded soberly.

"My uncle said she is cursed. A menace." Luke kept his voice quiet because of the pilot's appreciation of the girl on the screen but his words were hard.

Ben Kenobi stared at the girl with his eyes and hair but her mother's face, and he couldn't bring himself to disagree, "Your uncle is not alone thinking that." Their bond, forged only by blood, had practically shaken when Scariff was destroyed- he'd felt her pain, and her despair, "But she is not someone you'd want to cross, especially now." He couldn't imagine the pain of losing three padawans all at once, and he'd only ever lost one.

 _ **Just another product of today  
Rather be the hunter than the prey**_

Raina did not know how long she had been out, but she thanked every star in the galaxy that her force signature had stayed hidden. She was sure the whole Death Star was looking for her. She'd out-hid Vader once before when she was just a child, she was sure that she could do it again.

There was a maintenance hatch or the door to the hallway- Raina took the tunnels. She crawled on her stomach, using every bit of spare energy to go into healing herself as she moved.

She needed to get to a ship. And get Leia.

She had no backup. No allies.

With a little force, she let her power extend, keeping it controlled well away from the main quarters. And she felt… something. It was familiar. A thin string that bound her to… someone? She barely recognized it…

" _Your father?"_

 _Raina tried not to be stunned by the question, "In hiding. I think he's quite done with wars." Her words were carefully chosen considering what she knew of her father._

 _Organa nodded, "I will send word to him. He'd be an ally either way."_

No way in hell.

Raina would've laughed if there was any room in the compact metal tunnel to do so.

She grasped the thread and tugged, images spiraling into her mind: The millennium falcon, that boy from Tatooine, her father's lightsaber… and then she was cut off, caught in the act. She continued crawling in their direction. Noises beneath her became easier to hear, general commands and talk among stormtroopers.

There needed to be a computer room around here somewhere. She needed a map, needed a place to get her bearings.

"Intruders in the detention block!" Raina mentally groaned. Alright, so stealth was not a prerogative then. The next hatch she came to, she punched until it came undone and then flipped into the hall. The only two men with eyes on her were cut down before they could say a word.

She unpowered the silver lightsaber, feeling lightheaded but ignoring the black spots on her vision. If Han Solo was here, the hangar pulled at her but then again if rescuing Leia was their goal they would never succeed alone… especially because her father headed in an opposite direction.

Feeling torn in 3 ways Raina took a deep breath before choosing none. Although in the direction of the hangar she felt something different. When she came to a room in the main forward bay with seven stormtroopers demanding entrance she smiled.

They barely registered her presence as they fell to the ground in a clang. The worried robotic voice inside was music to her ears as she forced entry and heard R2D2 excitedly chirping, "Good to see you too old friend." She smiled at the droid as she stepped out of the burnt remains of the door.

A comm had been dropped on the ground. As she bent to pick it up C-3PO began apologizing, "Oh my! General Kenobi, I had completely forgotten I turned that off. Luke and Han are doing a rescue mission and-" Raina tuned him out as she flicked the comm on and placed it in her ear.

The cacophony of noises was overwhelming, "Trash Compactor" and "Turn it off!" Were the loudest.

"R2-D2, the trash compactors in the detention levels, turn them off immediately!" She spun into the chair for the screens and began typing to bring up a map as R2D2 beeped along, his arms plugging into the wall socket and working faster than she ever could.

The voice kept screaming and Raina tried to tune them out mostly but recognized them all. When it went silence she flashed a look to R2D2 who beeped an affirmative that the compactor was shut off. For a second she stayed silent before asking, "Please tell me you are all stunned by my excellent heroics and not flattened?"

A nervous laugh on the other line followed by cheering let her know the answer and she smiled, "That was what I was hoping. Now climb up to the control hatch, if I'm right it is 326827."

Han took the comm, "Thanks for taking time from your daring escape Gen."

Raina couldn't help the laugh that she let out, "Anytime Solo. Now get moving."

"Excuse me-"

Raina cut him off, "If it is the kid or you Solo, hand the comm to Leia."

She could practically hear his affront at the command but next heard the princess's tone, "We are going, General."

"Thank you. Follow the hallway, it should be fairly clear to the hangar. You'll be a level above," She followed along on the real-time map on the screen, "I'm going to attempt to liberate our getaway."

Raina grasped her lightsaber and stood, "C-3PO and R2 please stay safe in here till they are gone, then get to the ship." It was second nature what came next, her power rolling forth to the stormtroopers, turning their minds, twisting them to focus on her, and then dropping them with only a thought. Wouldn't kill them but should buy enough time.

The action brought Vader's attention to her and she's to him. He was within her radius and she felt every bit of the air cling to her as she moved towards his energy, as if stopping her. They were close to the hangar, she told herself. I have to neutralize the threat, she repeated. To keep with the impression, she was just rigging the door to the hangar to shut and lock when she saw them.

 _ **And you're standing on the edge, face up 'cause you're a Natural!  
A beating heart of stone**_

It was only when she watched Vader's red lightsaber cut through the older man's body that she felt the bond sever. She shouldn't have been this close, it wouldn't have hurt as much. But with so many of her bonds severed lately, it cut just as deep for a man she barely knew, which she thought incredibly unfair.

The boy, Luke, was screaming behind her, and she heard the others urging him onto the ship. Even heard it powering on. Another string in her world cut.

Vader turned back to look at her, the door closing before him when she reached out. Obi-wan Kenobi's lightsaber flew through the air to her outstretched hand and she didn't look back as she walked towards the ship.

Face a careful stoic mask as it began lifting from the ground and she leaped the few feet onto it, hitting the plank close trigger as she walked in. The ship sealed shut behind her.

Leia was waiting, and did not hesitate to hug her, even as Raina barely patted her back, "Thank you."

When the princess looked in her eyes Raina wondered if she knew the turmoil that had been there, back in the throne room, "Don't thank me."

The younger girl walked arm-in-arm with her further into the ship, "I'm sorry for your many losses."

Raina smiled a diplomat's smile, "It is the way things are."

 _ **You gotta be so cold  
To make it in this world**_

When they entered the relaxed area Raina's eyes immediately went to Luke's before she pulled them to look for Han sitting in the cockpit. She patted Leia's arm in a way she hoped appeared sisterly before walking to join Han and Chewy, "Thank you for your excellent service."

Han glared at her but Chewy replied happily, asking how her master was and if she needed any extra work these days. It made her laugh and Han finally smiled, "Glad to help, kid. But you know, the boy did say something about payment."

Raina nodded, "I'll see what I can do." The rebel alliance didn't exactly have funds to spare.

When she returned to the relaxed area, Leia was sitting with Luke and had wrapped a blanket around him protectively, "Luke Skywalker?" Raina outstretched a hand, "I believe we've met before. Raina Ca'veth Kenobi."

The boy shook her hand with all the wariness she was used to these days and she tried not to be irritated by it. Instead, she sat down opposite them and leaned her head back against the seat's edge.

With her eyes closed and very few threads left in this world, she felt like she was floating through it as they flew.

"I can't believe he's gone." Luke said, and Raina tried not to let the surprise show on her face but must have failed, "Do you not care?"

She let one eye open and look to them, Leia was trying to comfort Luke, "Luke, Raina is a very well-trained Jedi. They don't believe in material connections."

"So you don't care?" His tone was still accusatory, and Raina raised her eyebrows as she sat forward again.

Her voice was dangerously low as her icy eyes trained on his in a wolfish way, "No, no I guess I don't. You see, caring takes more effort than you can imagine, kid, so give me 17 hours of sleep and then try to pick a fight." Leia watched the floor pointedly while Luke met her eyes, "Maybe then I'll make it worth your while with a proper shouting match and everything. I might even break something."

She leaned back again and closed her eyes, "But until then, I'm afraid I'll be quite the bore." Once more, she lost herself to the soothing hum of the engine and the feeling of floating, not a care for anyone or anything.

Except, they weren't alone. She was on her feet in an instant, "Han, I've got gunport one." She was walking in the direction when she looked over her shoulder, "Kid, take two." He followed wordlessly although she could feel annoyance and fear rippling off him as they went to their respective stations.

Once her headset was on, she spoke, "Han?"

"They are almost here."

"How do I-" Luke's voice cut off as Raina's power reached him, a perfect image of how to use the gunport's joystick to aim and fire, "How did you-?"

He never finished his question as TIE fighters began swarming them. Raina wasted no energy, only shooting what she knew she'd hit and spiraling in her seat to keep her eyes on the most of them. She caught the sight of one of Luke's laser blasts hitting a TIE fighter and heard his voice come through the comm excitedly cheering.

She refrained from commenting, but a small smile formed on her lips for the first time in weeks.

Once all the ships were taken out, and celebratory cheers went through the ship, Raina let herself smile again. She had something to fight for.

In the cockpit, Leia was assuring Han of his cut when she brushed past her on the way, "Watch him." Were all she said to Raina as she stormed out, practically running Luke over in her way.

Raina forced a smile to her face, "Well done." Chewie had gotten up to make sure the ship wouldn't literally fall apart so Raina slid into his seat smoothly, "You know they are tracking us right?"

Han Solo mockingly glared at her, "Not you too! That wasn't that easy."

Raina raised her eyebrows, "You do realize they know I'm aboard right? There should've been 20 TIE fighters if they wanted to slow us down, let alone stop us."

"You really are arrogant," Luke commented as he entered the cockpit and gave her an appreciating glare as if taking her in for the first time in the dark crop top and pants that she was put in for the meeting with Sidious.

 _ **Yeah, you're a natural  
Living your life cutthroat**_

Shattering the awkwardness before it began Han laughed, "This one? You think she doesn't know it?" He continued to laugh and it almost felt like home. Almost. If Luke wasn't looking at her like she was still a threat.

She gave Luke her best impression of Calla's smile: alluring and full of the promise of danger, "Don't worry Skywalker, I don't bite."

"Unless you want her to…" It was Calla's voice, full of tease and sarcasm. Raina's eyes unfocused at the voice, familiar and loved but even as she looked around the cockpit frantically, her late best friend was nowhere to be seen. Of course, she wasn't.

"Are you alright?" Luke asked as Han was focused on flying but Raina only nodded giving the room a quick once around. She was hearing things, great.

She stood, shakily, and held the wall as she slipped past Luke careful not to touch him, "Just need to lie down." She felt him reach out to help her before thinking better of it. He took her seat in the cockpit and she heard him asking Han about Leia.

In all the scenarios she imagined of the Skywalkers, she had never considered having to work around incest as an option. But that was a problem for normal Raina, the Raina that would come back eventually, she told herself. The Raina that cared.

Leia woke her as they approached Yavin IV with a sympathetic smile and Raina did all she could to smile back. To practice that smile. This was where she'd left from in hopes of saving her friends, her family. Now she was returning alone.

Well, not alone. Luke looked out over the greenery of Yavin with wide eyes and a smile. Han and Chewie were following the Rebel outposts to the main campus. Leia was sitting with R2D2, afraid to let the droid out of her sight till they landed.

When they landed, Raina walked at the back of the pack, hoping to slip out of sight, only to be proved impossible by the sheer amount of people that had come to welcome them. Commander Willard strode at the front and immediately embraced Princess Leia, "You're safe when we heard about Alderaan we feared the worst."

Raina's eyes narrowed at the exchange, unaware anything had happened to Alderaan. The realization was too slow to dawn on as the commander looked to her with a warm smile, "I suppose our illustrious general had something to do with that."

She gave the practiced diplomatic smile and shook the older man's hand firmly, "I would have much rather not be needed."

He looked between the two women, ignoring the three figures behind them still, "It is a shame, the losses we have wrought."

 _ **You gotta be so cold  
Yeah, you're a natural**_

Raina continued to smile even as Leia pointedly looked to the ground, "Hopefully, it shall not be for nothing. The Death Star plans are with R2 here," She gestured to the droid who came wheeling up next to her, "Analyzing the plans must be done quickly as we have likely been traced here."

Leia added on, "Our escape was too easy and if they are coming here next, those plans are our only hope." Raina didn't appreciate the dramatics but looked up at the sky nonetheless as if to convince herself the battle station was not yet here.

The commander began leading them away and again Raina remained towards the back, allowing Leia to perform introductions while she scanned faces. They had lost more than her team at Scariff and it was easy to see the despair in the eyes around her, but also the hope.

More than one hand extended to her as she walked, and she gladly shook hands or patted backs. In hushed tones, she strayed further back, accepted condolences and give a few of her own. These were people that she could list from memory if she had to, and she was glad to see the majority unscathed.

As she entered the main temple, now cut off from her group, she was called out by name by General Jan Dodonna, "Raina Kenobi!" She spun to see him trying to catch up with her from the hangar, "Some might say you have nine lives you know?" She took his hand but was gathered closer for a hug which she returned equally with the older man.

"It'll be a shame then for them to realize I have eight one day," He laughed but gave a knowing smile, "Walk with me?" She asked.

As they walked, both a perfect picture of a soldier, hands behind their backs with straight postures, he began, "I'm sorry for your-"

She groaned aloud and rolled her eyes, "Can you not say loss, Dodonna? I'm tired of being reminded." She tried to keep a joking smile on her face but the older man saw right through it.

They walked towards the conference room in silence for a bit before he began, "Your father," When she rolled her eyes again Dodonna hit her over the head hard enough to make her stumble.

She straightened and stifled a chuckle, "Sorry, General." She recited in rhythm as she'd done often when they weren't the same rank.

The older man sighed, "You've been through a lot. You are the youngest general ever pronounced, not only of this Alliance but even from the time of the Clone Wars. You do know I was against your promotion?"

She nodded, watching the stone and metallic ground pass under their feet as they walked.

Dodonna continued, "It was because there is more to battles and wars than strategy and skill. You have both in abundance. It was because you are too young to be fighting the battles of old men."

"I'm fighting them anyways. At least with rank, I get to make some calls." Thinking back to it, recently she had been under heavy observation, "Well, I got to make some calls. Before I was put on probation."

As they walked to the door General Dodonna turned to face her before it. She tried not to let anything show on her face as she stared up at him, "I am sorry Raina because the difficult decisions never get easier and people will only get meaner."

Although there might have been tears on the corners of her eyes she willed them away and nodded, "Thank you General Dodonna."

"You're welcome General Kenobi." He smiled broadly, "Now let's find a way to blow that space station apart."

From the moment debriefing started, she became General Ca'veth Kenobi once more. Her face a mask against every sorrow sent her way. There was only one way to stop their destruction, and it was going to have to work. She had no time to mourn, no time to allow tears, and certainly no time for friends. Her and Dodonna had worked out the specifics. Now it was only time for action.

 _ **Will somebody  
Let me see the light within the dark trees' shadows and What's happenin'?**_

Raina bowed her head low to the crowd assembled, her copper hair neatly braided since she took the time to do it while talking with the council. A number of heads bowed back to her and she smiled at them all in turn, "The battle station headed for us is overpowered and the task of taking it down is quite frankly overwhelming," There were a few chuckles from her normal crew as she continued, "It carries more firepower than this entire fleet and has shield that only the best money and death threats can buy. Their shields aren't expecting a small fighter piloted craft, either."

Gareth, Gold Leader stood and immediately met Raina's eye, "Ma'am, what good is a snub fighter going to be against that?"

She nodded respectfully, "Our information was correct. There is a weakness in the battle star. A self-destruct if you will."

General Dodonna, standing on the other side of the screen of her began pulling up the technical map, "The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide."

Raina named each of the assembled in her mind as Dodonna talked. There was Fennel, a young boy who recently joined. Marion, a woman in her thirties that liked gin and tonics and could sing every folk song of Bethel VII. Kal, a veteran of the clone wars like Dodonna, he was the second to see her as a Kenobi after she smoked him in drills- he's much better at poker though. Wedge, a boy who was always the loudest and fastest in drills and has tried flirting with every female on this base. Anya, a girl from Remus Prime that didn't know how to read when she got here but now struggled through some of Raina's favorites.

"It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station." If only it was that easy.

There were some 30 people here, all willing to die for this. Raina was reminded that all their sacrifice rested on the words of a girl that died down there. Rested on a love of a father. She stopped thinking like that.

Raina spoke clearly, making sure no one misunderstood, "Only a precise hit will set up a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton torpedoes."

Wedge Antilles was whispering to Luke but Raina paid them little mind other than Luke was talking about shooting womp rats or something?

"Get to your ships! And may the force be with you." Dodonna said it and looked to Raina at the last parting but she only nodded and went to leave, "General, with me."

She followed the older man as he collected Leia and they made their way to the main hangar, "Can I go out with them?" Raina asked in hushed tones.

Dodonna smiled, "Who else did you think was Red Leader?" She exhaled a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

When they arrived in the main hangar bay, a ship with deep blue strips versus the normal red was nearby and she smiled as the R2 unit was loaded on. It'd been a long time since she'd flown. Luke came walking over, taking her attention from her ship, looking dismayed, "What's up?"

He looked at her as if startled she'd asked, and then said, "It's just Han, I thought maybe he'd stay."

She chuckled, "He's got ambitions and most of them don't include dying today. I respect that." He almost looked like he was going to laugh with her.

"Yeah? And what are our ambitions?"

She winked, "Not dying, but with style."

When he laughed, and she smiled, it frightened her that the smile was… real. It was genuine, "I only wish Ben were here." She looked to him then and saw a sadness that she could somehow feel reflected in her.

Seeing Leia and Dodonna were still speaking quietly to each other regarding the fighter pilots, she leaned in closer to Luke, "Someone once told me that those who die in the Force never really leave us. They're just scattered. The odds of ever seeing their soul in one piece is unlikely, but it does mean that you are never alone."

 _ **Lookin' through the glass find the wrong within the past knowin'  
We are the youth**_

Luke looked at her then, as if he was seeing something different in her. Not the murderer or danger that he'd been seeing her as but something else. And that change frightened Raina almost as much as her own smile.

Someone came behind her and patted her back firmly, "Ready Red Leader?" She nodded at Biggs as he passed her with a smile, "I'll race you to the target?" She said it even as someone handed her a helmet and she motioned for them to get Luke one too, "Might even let you win!"

She was practically skipping to her ship when he snapped out of whatever thoughts he was caught in to reply, "In your dreams!"

"Has he been cleared on the Incom T-65?" Dodonna called out to her, pointing at Luke who looked panicked for a moment before Biggs came back for him.

"This is Luke Skywalker! He's the best bush pilot in the outer rim territories." Raina practically laughed again at the odds, the favor of chance as Dodonna gave her a wide-eyed look.

"Skywalker?" He asked and when she nodded, climbing into her fighter the older general only beamed, "Great to have you, son, good luck!"

Luke looked to her for some form of explanation but Raina figured there'd be time for that later, "Get moving Luke! That's a command." He ran to his ship and Raina felt her headset power on with her ship.

She waited for the wingmen to fly out first, following standard protocol before taking off herself, ignoring the anxiety in her stomach. A voice seemed to say from a faraway distance, "May the force be with you." She was never alone.

The moment she saw stars she adjusted her gun sights and spoke, "Wingmen, call in." She found formation in the center of them.

"Red Ten standing by." That'd be Starley.

"Red Seven standing by." And that's Janar.

"Red Three standing by." There's Biggs.

"Red Six standing by." Porkins.

"Red Nine standing by." Quinnie.

"Red Two standing by." Wedge.

"Red Eleven standing by." Gunner.

"Red Five standing by." Luke.

Raina brought her own command into attack position, the wings coming out, "Lock S-foils into attack position." She saw the rest of the formation do the same. As they approached she held her breath, "Approaching their magnetic field."

Their ships began to buffet and she spoke at the same calm tone, "Turn on deflectors and go through without hesitation." She went immediately after speaking to lead them, "Now we are through their magnetic shield and let's go double front."

As they approached she got a better look at it from the outside, the shine and the patterns of every outer panel. Someone outdid themselves on the exterior decorating. Biggs's voice came in over the line, "Look at the size of that thing!" It was such a tone of wonder that Raina normal would reply with something friendly- but not now.

"Cut the chatter, please, Red Three."

They only got closer, the sheer size threatened to overwhelm them, but Raina stayed focused, "Accelerate to attack speed guys, this is it."

"Gold Leader to Red Leader, do you copy?" Gareth's voice came over and she smiled.

"I copy, Gold Leader. We are in position."

"We are heading for the target shaft now."

Raina looked to either side of her, seeing her X-wings and two y-wings waiting, "I'm going to cross their axis, draw some attention."

As she moved, she was sure to keep her ten wingmen insight as she dove across, firing at their massive guns before they had a chance to power on, "Heavy Fire coming at you boss, 20 degrees!" Biggs warned and Raina spun in time to see eight TIE fighters coming in.

"I've got the enemy ships." When Raina said it, no one questioned it. Indeed, she flew right at them, spinning this way and that, reaching out with all of her in order to move with the Force, giving her a step ahead. She took out two as she raced toward them. Then she cut the speed, threw on the brakes and allowed herself to flip, now on their backside. Four more down. The remaining two she lined up, took out the one and it ran into the next.

"This is Red Five, I'm going in!" She watched a ship nosedive toward the surface and grimaced as a fire shot come hurtling to meet him.

"Red five pull up!" She commanded and as he did she heard Biggs ask if he was alright. Not a bad attempt but too impulsive, "They've started jamming our signals." She looked for the closest tower on her scope but with none in sight, she couldn't commit to traveling.

"Red Five, Three, and Two, let me know when you make your attempts. Red Eleven and Three take down that axillary gun at 40 degrees."

"Red Leader, enemy signals are picking up. Their sending more ships your way."

"Red Wings, stay in groups, with all this jamming, they will be on you before you know it."

Ships began streaming out and Raina began losing count of her ships amongst trying to stop as many of the enemy from reaching their point of interest as possible that when Bigg's panicked garbled, "I've got one on me!" Came through the line she had to take a moment to search.

"I'm coming Red Three. Keep him moving." She took off and got behind the man quickly, blasting him to pieces just as she pulled up away from the surface and searched for anyone else that had strayed with a tail following them, "Red Five, you've got a trailer."

"I can't shake him."

"I'm coming." She took off once more, the Death Star whipping past as she narrowed her sights at each turn.

"Red Leader?" Luke's voice was panicked and Raina almost cursed.

"I'm on him Luke, steady!" After another failure at locking on, she fired a concussion missile, "Slight turbulence!" It was a warning because she wasn't aiming for the TIE fighter, no, she aimed for the battle station tunneling next to it. The walling collapsed around the TIE fighter and thankfully Luke was out of the blast range.

"Red Wings. Are we all in the trenches?" She heard the affirmative and dove down as close to the surface as she dared.

Flying really was terrifying, she thought numbly. She didn't like not having eyes on everyone and being unable to call on any of her strength without the anchor of gravity. It was only when she watched gold leader get shot down and she heard more of her crew panicking that she began to feel the adrenaline of a fight.

"I've got the target in sight." The words had barely escaped her mouth when she felt it, the shift in power. Darth Vader had joined the fight.

"Right behind you Red Leader, turn to point 0-5." She could hear the nervousness in Luke's voice.

Did she dare leave them to deal with Vader? Every part of a leader shouted yes. Every decision drilled into her, on how to accomplish the mission first screamed yes.

But she wasn't going to lose more to Vader when she could distract. Someone else could hit the target.

"Look," She began, "Skywalker, Wedge, Biggs, I want the three of you on my tail. Accelerate to full speed to keep up. Careful on the turns," Her mothering side was coming out, "Here's the plan…"

As the four of them zipped around the surface of the death star, steadily getting closer to the tower of interest, Raina saw three TIE fighters closing in. One of those would be Vader.

Raina looked back at the three catching up on them steadily, "Wedge, break off now to start on those TIE fighters." She wondered if Vader could sense her as she could sense him? As Wedge broke off he managed to take down one, but she saw the sparks coming off his ship and quickly spoke, "

"Good work Red Two, pull off. Not much else to do back there. Red Five keep going. Biggs, you're with me."

As the two ships pulled off, Raina with all the speed that she needed to get there before Biggs, she took every shot at the leader but he evaded each with such skill, she was sure it was Vader, "I've gothe t leader-"

"I have a shot!" Biggs sounded excited but the towers on the surface were still firing and he stood in one's path.

"Biggs! Get moving!"

She heard the pilot's gasp of realization, saw him fire, the laser hitting the third TIE fighter after narrowly missing Vader's ship, then saw his ship combust at the turret's shot. She heard Luke asking for his friend.

Raina stayed on Vader's tail. If Luke turned out to be half the pilot his father was they would be better for it. It bit at her as they got closer and closer to Luke and she fired more wildly, taking every shot she could.

After too many tries it seemed, she hit his starboard engine and saw him swerve wildly but stay on track, "You've got to be crik-" Five TIE fighters entered on her tracking pad and even as she moved to try and get sights she was panicking.

Luke cut her off, "I don't have a shot! The computer won't-"

Not the time for panic, "Luke! Listen to me." She continued to fire on Vader as they closed in, "If you have a shot take it. Frack the computer!" The five enemy beeps came closer behind her but she ignored them. Let them try their shot.

What she didn't know was that the Death Star was ready to fire on Yavin IV. That Vader was narrowing his sights on Luke even as his ship swerved.

Luke didn't respond so Raina continued, "You deserve better than that rock you call home? Prove it."

One of her next two shots hit Vader again, and that sent him spiraling out into space . In almost the same moment, she felt her solar panel get hit, having to overcorrect immediately and pull up, "I'm hit, I need-"

"Someone call for a heroic rescue?" A familiar voice spoke in her ear and a smile naturally grew on her face as lasers shot down from a large, piece of junk, ship.

She practically laughed as she smoothed out her X wing away from the Death Star and heard Luke's voice, "Target has been hit, Red Leader, I repeat target has been hit."

 _ **Call out to the beast, not a word without the peace, facing  
A bit of the truth, the truth**_

When Raina fell face first onto the cot, she did not care that Leia was going over how she should style her hair, or what she should wear for tomorrow's ceremony. She was just happy to have a bed. To be able to sleep. It felt… intimate in a way. To Raina, having a bed meant that she belonged there, and now, now she'd finally get to rest.

When Leia's voice stopped, Raina was still awake to hear the princess leave the small room, closing the door softly behind her to give the girl-general her rest. Her eye lids were heavy and just as she settled in comfortableness, she thought to go check on Calla, Jem, and Willow. She hadn't checked in since she returned and-

And they were gone. Her attention narrowed to the absence of their bonds to her. The awful tearing feeling in her chest as they died. Calla would not be waking her in the middle of the night to gossip about her latest date or drag her out to some seedy bar she thought looked fun. Jem and Willow never got to grow up. For the first time in years, Raina would be doing things alone again. She'd never get to laugh with them during drills again. Team Viper was done, her family dead, and she most definitely could not sleep.

Changing into shorts and a loose training shirt, she stole out of her room and went to the training grounds. A wooden training stick rested near the weapons bay and she took it up and began her mindfulness kata.

Anyone who saw her dark form in the unlit training room left her alone. They all understood.

The hours got later until a new day had started when Luke was awake with troubling thoughts and came upon the woman, still working. He stared from the doorway for a while before she paused and turned to face him. Immediately, he apologized, "I'm sorry, I was just walking-"

"It's okay," She replied, walking towards him. Her arms were bare and when she stretched them out above her Luke wondered how long she'd been at this when she asked in a soft tone, "Would you like to talk about it?"

He was leaning against the door frame and crossed his arms across his chest, "Talk about what?"

Raina looked at him, as if deciphering a code, before she said, "Biggs to start with. You were friends." She had heard a snippet of their conversation, but it sounded like they were very familiar.

Luke sighed, his arms uncrossing, "Everything has happened really fast. Two days ago, I had just picked up two droids to help with my uncle's farm." It was the most honesty she'd seen out of him so she smiled encouragingly.

"Come on," She nudged his arm with her shoulder as she passed him, "Let's get you some tea." The boy's look of surprise went unnoticed as he hurried after her.

Raina has making tea down to an art form. Luke hadn't seen her fight yet, but if he thought her kete was entrancing, it was only because he'd never understood how graceful one could be while making tea. Once settled in the large empty mess hall with mugs of something hot in their hands she motioned for him to continue, "Now everyone I am close to is dead."

It was too familiar an idea for Raina so she stayed silent and carefully considered her next words, "You're taking it well."

His whole body shrugged with effort and Raina resisted the urge to relax him, "I always wanted more, now I guess I've got it."

Then it was as if Raina just remembered, "Wait, your family was killed by the empire?" When he nodded she immediately continued, "I'm sorry, that was insensitive. It's just that your father and Vader have a history." That was why Luke was safe there, it had been explained to her before.

Luke perked up at the mention of his father, "You knew my father? You're so young." Clearly, he only heard Obi-wan and Dodonna mention Anakin.

Raina thought back to the day that she met the young Jedi, "I only met him twice. My teacher was very good about my history lessons." She didn't talk about how the second time she saw him, he was killed all of her classmates and friends while she hid. She didn't mention that his force signature was still eerily similar to what it used to be.

"Who was your teacher?" The question was innocent even as it triggered all of her shields.

"I'm afraid that's confidential," At his disappointment, she added, "There is some speculation among soldiers though, feel free to ask them. What were your aunt and uncle like?"

Luke smiled wistfully, "They were the type to never let their children off the planet. Protective, hardworking, kind…" He trailed off and Raina focused on the staff in her hands still, "My uncle did not like you."

Raina's eyes met his and he could see the spark in them, "Oh? I did not know I was on Tatooine frequently enough to leave a bad impression?" Even though she wasn't smiling, Luke had come to hear the haughty tone as teasing.

His smile matched her voice, "He thought you were properly dangerous." His smile fell when the sparkle dulled in her eye.

"I'm afraid he's right," She looked around the empty training room and felt the absence of her friends, "I am quite good at getting people killed. On both sides, it appears." Her voice was hallowed but when she looked at Luke again she had a smile that did not reach her eyes, "It's quite a talent. I am sorry for your losses, get some sleep tonight."

Luke watched her leave the mess hall and his eyes narrowed in something closer to curiosity than suspicion. There was a slight change in her, one that made him more comfortable near her. She wasn't as callow as the words she said, no, not if he listened to how she said them. It was like he could feel the air around her when she spoke, and it let him… understand her, in a way. They were not alike, and she might be monstrous, but Luke, curiously, found himself liking her.

 _ **Deep inside me, I'm fading to black, I'm fading  
Took an oath by the blood of my hand, won't break it**_

Raina never got used to mirrors. She'd never had one as a child. Sure, she'd seen snippets of a reflection in swamp water or shined metal. It was only once she got off Dagobah that she had the experience of looking at herself, truly. As a result, she was never a vain creature. Not like Calla was. Calla was always painting their faces and doing their hair in elaborate braids. Making them wear outfits that coordinated or had skirts that flowed.

Raina only knew how to do basic braids, the kind that were purely function. She was never a fan of dresses has she didn't know how to move in them.

The ceremony this morning at the rebel base included a small ceremonial pyre, empty, for the lives lost on Scariff. Raina was meant to light it. Apparently, Leia had read it in a book somewhere that the Jedi of the Republic did that with their dead and insisted that it be done in respect to Raina's custom.

Raina had heard of a pyre but she saw little point without the bodies. But it wasn't just for her sake, it was for the rebel alliance's sake. A theatre play.

For the show, Raina had Senator Leia Organa herself helping her prepare. While the former princess looked immaculate in a long sleeved tight gown with silver embellishments and her hair coiled in a braided bun. She was attempting a similar injustice on Raina's hair while the older girl tried not to cringe at the ministrations.

When Leia took out some light blue gown and laid it on the bed for Raina she couldn't help but glare at it, "Can't I wear black for mourning?"

Leia gave a sympathetic smile and touched her shoulder in a way Raina was still getting used to as friendly, "We are all mourning, but today is also meant to celebrate. We won this battle!" Raina did not refute that the war was far from over.

So, Raina wore a loose light blue gown with her burgundy cloak as she tossed a torch onto the pyre representative of all her failings. Her copper hair spilled from the upturned hood and caught any tears that may have fallen.

 _ **I can taste it, the end is upon us, I swear  
Gonna make it**_

Her smile at the ceremony was one of a perfect picture. Luke Skywalker, the farm boy of a desert planet, and Han Solo, an arrogant smuggler, were awarded medals at Leia's hands while Raina, with all her power carefully reined in, stood dutifully at her right hand. And smiled.

That smile persisted as the ceremony desisted in favor of a celebratory banquet and less formal party in the mess hall with drinks and music and dancing.

Luke was loving it! It was everything Tatooine wasn't and he already had people that liked him. Everything was loud and exciting and completely different. Han was cool while Leia was beautiful and gracious. It seemed like everything was going to work out.

The one odd note was the woman he was still trying to understand. She was not as serene as Leia but she was more comfortable with the people, pulling easy laughter with wit and giving out knowing looks and smirks. It was no secret that people liked her, hell even Luke liked her and he was determined not to, but something was off.

It was just once or twice but Luke could've sworn he saw a shadow cross her face. Something that made her features colder, her smile brittle, and her eyes distant.

But it was only for a second. Something in Luke hummed in response to the same something that hummed around the conflicted girl who moved like a predator through prey.

 _ **I'm gonna make it Natural**_ _ **  
A beating heart of stone  
You got to be so cold  
To make it in this world.**_


End file.
